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Humility Sabbatical

Well, this is not something I look forward to saying, but God has been nudging me and pushing me towards this, and I just feel this is a step of obedience.

God has been leading me of late into cultivating spiritual dispositions like peace and love and compassion, and He has been trying to show me how to be humble and teachable in all of my dealings with people.

My problem is that right now, whenever I get on my blog – especially when I get debating – all of that stuff just goes out the window. I have been trying and trying to blog humbly…but I just cannot. Blogging, especially of late, has been bringing out the worst in me – self righteousness, pride, discompassion, and dogmatism devoid of love.

I especially need to apologize to Don, because my attitude towards him has been far from the brotherly love which I should have had. Don, I was wrong to put winning an argument ahead of my caring for you and a desire to foster a relationship. Will you forgive me?

As to the other aspects of blogging – I just feel like God is telling me to give it a rest for a while. I don’t know how long, but I just need to let go of this while He works on my heart. Hopefully someday I will be humble enough to blog with a good attitude: but for now I cannot and so I don’t feel peace about continuing to work on the blog.

I know some people will be disappointed: so am I. Please pray for me, that God will get His work done quickly, so that I can come back that much sooner!

I love you all, and God bless!

– Josiah

15 Comments »

  1. Josiah,

    I forgive you.

    I am charismatic and sometimes hear from God.
    Some time ago, I was reading the Bible and came upon

    3Jn 1:9 I have written something to the church, but Diotrephes, who likes to put himself first, does not acknowledge our authority.

    Right at that moment God spoke in my heart saying “You have the spirit of Diotrephes.”
    I asked, “How?” and God replied, “You want to win more love.” Needless to say, this broke my heart, it is rare for me to get a personal word from God and then for it to be a stern rebuke! But it was right on, it was a word in season I needed to hear. When I did not (or do not) speak from love I am wrong, wrong, wrong even when I might think I am right, right, right.

    Please pray for me also, that my priorities are correct.

  2. Very commendable thinking.

    However, I feel badly to have to tell you that this is not a battle that can be fought in silence. Neither will it be accomplished in a short period of time. One cannot learn to play baseball by watching. We have to practice AND be willing to acknowledge our mistakes, not be too upset with our mistakes knowing we are fallible and prone to make mistakes, and just keep on going, apologizing when needful. It’s really a learning process. In addition, we are all different in personality and preferences, so the learning process will be different as well.

    I bet Don could give some insight on how he has struggled to achieve a respectful and gentle verbal demeanor.

    In addition there is the mental attitude and thinking process that is attached to our word choices. There is a heart attitude that needs changing and reflecting. These are things that all Christians work on their entire lives. Learning to truly care for and have compassion on others and loving like Christ takes changes in our understanding, our perception, our choices, etc. And then a whole new dimension is added when another person says something that we interpret as offensive. We may have been doing OK til then. 🙂 AND often the reason we don’t do well with another’s offensive words is because they hit on a wound in our souls that God hasn’t finished healing. So sometimes the point really isn’t dealing with the other persons words (though sometimes it is), but rather dealing with our own inner wounds.

    This is a complicated goal to achieve. But it IS achievable. 🙂

    blessings…..

    • those are good words. Thank you!

      I still feel that I need to cool it for a bit…God seems to have something to say about my blog which needs a sense of perspective…but you are absolutely right. I need to live and learn, not learn to perfection, then try living again.

      Come to think of it, maybe it is pride to want to have my pride issue all figured out before I blog again? lol…oh dear me….”Lord have mercy on me a sinner!”

      • As Christians who love the Lord our God so much we just want to ‘get things right’ and please him. But even that has a touch of pride in it because in our ‘getting things right’ we start judging whether others have ‘gotten things’ as right as we think we have and put labels on all the things we esteem as off in some way in order to see who is the most ‘rightest’ of the bunch. And of course we are always in the ‘rightest’ bunch.

        :^)

        Might be better if we were to concentrate on some of the simpler things like learning to love each other as Christ loves us, while we’re trying to figure out the deep things of God.

      • I wonder what you think of the title of one of John Piper’s chapters in “Brothers, we are not professionals” the title is: “Do not confuse humility with uncertainty.”

  3. I once pointed out to a Christian counselor that “things would be a lot simpler and would work a lot better if (another person in my life) would just agree with me.”

    He advised me that, “Other people have the right to be wrong.”

    I figured out he meant “wrong” as “wrong as I conceived of things” (and that my assessment of what was wrong could itself be wrong) and that I could also be “wrong” when I learned more and saw my previous thinking was wrong and therefore I was also one of the people that had the right to be wrong.

    This insight has also helped free me from the tyranny of needing to win, so I share it.

    • Thank you.

      I received a similar rebuke/bit of advice when I read your first comment. I want to tread lightly here, because I don’t want to offend you or get back into our previous discussion….

      What I realized was “people can have non-Christian theology, and still be Christians.”

      I suppose I should hasten to say that maybe I have some theology which is non-Christian….at any rate, it is the heart that God saves, and lots of people (myself included) are very confused and/or mislead, but still saved by grace. (For example, I bet Descartes is in heaven. Even though he is one of the greatest traitors to his Lord in His thinking, his heart seemed to be faithful….not comparing you to that, but that’s the idea).

      Don, in my thinking I had realized that you theology was bad, then judged and condemned you as non-Christian. I can’t believe my lack of love, judgmentalism or pride.

      I am sorry all over again. Will you forgive me all over again?

    • Josiah,
      I forgive you.

      As the saying goes, “God is not finished with me yet.” My walk with God is one of metamorphoses, one after the other.

      I used to be a “plain reading” reader, after all it works fine in everyday life and seems to work fine for many verses in the Bible. And I would hear or read a teaching that gave me deeper insights, and these deeper insights gradually shifted my understanding, so I could not go back to my previous understanding. But there were no seismic changes, just gradual shifts and insights.

      Until, of course, eventually there WAS a seismic change and the deeper insight reading OPPOSED my previous understanding. That is a VERY strange feeling, very disorienting, but I HIGHLY recommend it for every believer, it helps us to not be so sure about secondary doctrines.

  4. “Come to think of it, maybe it is pride to want to have my pride issue all figured out before I blog again? lol…oh dear me….”Lord have mercy on me a sinner!”

    Well said. Pride is so well tacked into human thinking that we will never be completely free of it until the hereafter but must rather fight it down whenever it rears it’s head. That act alone helps us to achieve degrees of humility.

  5. Well, I feel God’s peace to keep going with the blog. There are some things God has shown me about humility and pride, and hopefully I can keep them in mind as I proceed. There are also some things I am continuing to seek the Lord on concerning this blog. (That seems to be the story of my life, since starting this blog, trying to understand what a blog is, and how it fits into my life and God’s plan for me)

    Please pray for me as I pray for you, and we seek His face together!

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